I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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