Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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