He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
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He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
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its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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