pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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