Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
