3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
