she was so not down for the gang bang
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
