She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
