I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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