I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
