Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
