cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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