I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
