i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
