Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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