we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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