How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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