i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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