I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
