I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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