just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
