Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
smell my finger.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You made out with two different species that night
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
