dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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