Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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