that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he thought i was a dude.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
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Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
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Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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