No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
