True but thats because hes a fetus.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
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since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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