Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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