You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
