white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
