I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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