i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
