Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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