the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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