id be glad to
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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