It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
