I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
