I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Dicks are not precious.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
