The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
only if we run a train.
done.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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