i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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