are you so shy because you have an std?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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