oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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