I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
