i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
