"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
