So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
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A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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