Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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