I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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