so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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