Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
