Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
