even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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