yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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