Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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