I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
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For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
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I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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