I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
