We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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