just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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